Blondes vs. Brunettes #16 - 20th Anniversary

Has it really been 20 years?

Yep, it has.

The 2014 Winter Olympics arrive this week and that means it was 20 years ago that blonde thug Tonya Harding conspired with her husband in hiring a goon to bash the legs of her rival, brunette Nancy Kerrigan. (Actually the anniversary was January 6 except I had other things to blog about until now.)


Tonya and Nancy at Lillehammer.
Nice ass on Nancy, no? 

Given the anniversary and the upcoming Sochi Olympics, it’s not surprising that  Harding’s page hits on Wikipedia jumped from 879 on January 5^th to 40,632 on January 7^th, reached as high as 59,745 on January 17^th, and have totaled 356,870 in the past 30 days.  Just shows you how fascinated people are with the story, 20 years after the fact. In the event you missed all of this 20 years ago, let me recap for you.  Once upon a time there were two skaters, a blonde and a brunette.

The blonde was named Tonya.  She was a talented skater, strong and athletic, who began winning competitions when she was in middle school. 

She was also trouble. 

Unreliable, she developed a long history of showing up late for events, skipping ceremonies, and complaining to judges. More than once she explained to interviewers that she was handicapped because she suffered from asthma; she would then light up a cigarette and ask for their sympathy.

A high school dropout, she married a loser at age 19. 

The brunette was named Nancy.  Like Tonya, she showed promise at an early age, but avoided the trouble.  Little miss goody-two-shoes, she was.

Over time, they developed a rivalry and heading into the 1994 Winter Olympics in Lillehammer it became clear these two beauties would battle it out for the gold medal.
But Tonya and the idiot she was married to had other ideas, namely to keep Nancy out of the Olympics by breaking one her legs, so they hired a goon named Shane Stant who followed Nancy to Detroit and attacked her during a practice session at the 1994 U.S. Figure Skating Championships in Detroit.  Of course, he botched the job and only bruised her leg. It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that the person with the motive was Tonya Harding, but miraculously the case wasn’t brought to a conclusion until after the Olympics. 

So there we were, the entire world, watching a healthy and healed Nancy skating head-to-head against Tonya, whose husband had already entered a plea bargain agreement in exchange for testimony against his wife.


The rest is history.  Tonya choked royally, complaining to judges about broken laces and unfair treatment. Nancy, while not winning the gold, managed to capture the silver medal, burnishing her image as an athlete who came back against all odds.

Tonya’s life went into a predictable tail spin; she pled guilty to conspiracy after the Olympics ended and was banned from all competitive skating events.  

Kerrigan didn’t fare much better. After winning the silver medal, she was on the verge of becoming America’s sweetheart when it was revealed that during the medal ceremony, she bitched about gold medalist Oksana Baiul’s delayed arrival on the podium, a delay reportedly caused by Baiul’s desire to have her makeup redone before skating back out on the ice to receive her medal. Turns out, that wasn't the reason for the delay, rather it was a technical issue regarding the playing of the Ukranian anthem, but when told it was because of Baiul's make up coming off when she cried, Kerrigan took the bait and switched into the nasty bitch mode and her comments were caught by a CBS network microphone. 

If that wasn't bad enough, days later Kerrigan’s stock fell further when she skipped the Olympic closing ceremonies to attend a Disney World parade in Florida, an event where she made a complete ass of herself when she whined to Mickey Mouse about having to participate in the parade as part of her $2.5 million endorsement deal. 

Well, that's gratitude.
At least you've got a nice ass.

Disney paid her $2.5 million and all she could do was bitch and moan about having to smile and wave to people in public? 

Not surprisingly, Disney and other sponsors subsequently jettisoned Kerrigan, costing her millions and making many people wish that the goon had done a better job of smashing her knee. 

Kidding, just kidding  :)

We never advocate violence here on the blog.

 

Over the years, Kerrigan has managed to turn her image around and has prospered. Still, she occasionally pops up in the news and reestablishes her reputation as a brainless fucking idiot as she did recently when she defended her brother after he murdered their father in a drunken rage over making long distant phone calls.
 

 

The learning lesson? 

White figure skaters are no-class sluts. 

If you’re looking for beauty, grace, and dignity stick to Asian girls (see: Kristi Yamaguchi,  Michelle Kwan, and Korea’s Kim Yu-na).      

 

How did I screw this up??

Let's go wayyyyyyyy back in time to 5th of January when I posted a blog entry about "Words of encouragement' or why we only root for blondes. 

I missed a classic movie scene where that occurs and one of the fighters was none other than the brunette Carolyn Jones featured in my January 19th entry, "Ships at Sea."

The scene is from Bob Hope's 1953 movie "Off Limits" and features a nice ringside blonde vs. brunette boxing match where the blonde decks the brunette twice.  

But of course the best part is the guy who yells out "Atta girl, blondie!"

http://www.mediafire.com/watch/v6k6nnwf0blm0c2/Off_Limits.wmv