Blondes vs. Brunettes #18 - The Real Deal #1 or Make Sure Your Radar Is Turned On




https://www.mediafire.com/?n15403t08e1eeqb

 Thanks for checking out this week’s blog and a double thanks to ***Diasi***  for leaving a comment on last week’s blog entry.  Comments are always welcomed; just click on the “no comment” area at the bottom of the blog entry and the comment box should pop up.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------


Some years back, I was talking to a friend of mine.  I think Frank and I were both in our mid 30s at the time. We were getting sloshed in a bar in Atlantic City, while the wives were out on the floor tossing cash into the slots.  As we sat in the lounge area, the casino's cocktail waitresses were sashaying to and fro from the service bar getting drinks for the folks out on the floor.  The mostly middle aged staff was attractively attired in micro miniskirts and heels and was definitely getting attention, especially mine. (Side note: sadly, these days a lot of the casino cocktail gals have joined the rest of the world's wait staff sartorial club by wearing black slacks instead of skirts.  Yeccchh.)

Anyway, as the night wore on I noticed a couple of the ladies, one blonde and one brunette, bickering at the service bar. Nothing dramatic or noisy, but it caught my attention.  Later, after several drinks, I was stumbling back from the men's room and I heard the blonde, who was staring at the brunette walking away with a tray full of cocktails, tell the bartender "If she tries that again, I'll kill her!"

I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about but when I got back to the table I told my buddy that if we were patient enough and waited around, we might get to see the two ladies get into a catfight or at least get to watch the blonde slap the brunette. He was flabbergasted when I said it; I mean I think the guy even blushed.  I explained to him what had happened and he was astounded that I had picked up on this.  Naturally, as we waited for a battle royal to break out, the conversation drifted over to the topic of catfights in general and as we shot the breeze he confessed that he had never seen two girls fight, not once in his entire life.  And I just thought that was hilarious because by that time I had seen at least a dozen fights and when I told him that he just flat out refused to believe me.  I think the exact words were "You're a lying bitch."





https://www.mediafire.com/?n15403t08e1eeqb

"No, it's true, I'm telling you, I mean how could you not see any of these in your life?  It's not like a catfight is a unicorn, they do occur you know."

So I told him a story about one of the fights I had seen back when I was home from college on spring break.

There I was, cruising in my brother's early 1970s Ford Pinto (talk about traveling in style, well listen, they has a reputation for blowing up in rear end collisions at the time, so he bought this one which was in pretty good shape for a couple of hundred dollars and figured what the hell we're all young and invincible, so cares about all the rear end collision scare stories?)

Anyway, it's about 3pm and I decide to cruise past my old middle school and check out some of the young sillies walking down the street in skirts and nylons.  At the time, the school hosted grades 6-9 so the upper-class chicks were 14-15 and definitely starting to look good.  Me, I was an 18 year old college freshman who was regularly making out with his 16 year old neighbor, so cute little 15 year olds was still in my wheelhouse so to speak. Not for sex, but big time kissing.

So I'm a cool looking dark haired guy with shades on and the driver's window rolled down and as I'm idling through the crowd that is walking home after school this pretty dark haired girl looks at me and says "Hey, seexxxxyy" as I drive by.  So naturally, I think "jackpot!" and look around for a safe place to make a U-turn. But the crowd is thick as school has just let out and I'm hemmed in. I can remember to this day the low level panic I was in because I figure that nice looking gal would disappear on me soon enough. Just then I hear some young guy yell out "Hey, c'mon, let's get this thing over with!"

Get what thing over with?

So I'm making a three point turn, slowly, and I hear another guy yell "Get her over here and let's go!"

Now I'm thinking, as I finish making my turn, "No, this can't be!"

Sure enough, as I idle back in the direction I came from there's this blonde standing on the side of the street, surrounded by guys and they're all pointing at this brunette on the side walk about fifty feet away, surrounded by her boyfriends and girlfriends. 

"Steady" I'm saying to myself, "Just find a parking spot and don't run anybody over."

I keep moving down the street but it's packed with parked cars.  Starting to panic.  The girl who thinks I'm sexy?  I can still see her and can still go down and see if she needs a ride, but she might just tell me to get lost and what if that happens and there's a fight up here that I miss?

Ah shit!

Finally, I whip into a parking spot... forget the girl walking away, I've got to see if this is a fight. Now I'm out of the car and walking back to where the two girls are.

Stay cool, buddy, walk slowly like you're just passing by and by all means stop hyperventilating. 



https://www.mediafire.com/?lnnn4l77xq2dfow

I read once on a web site something like "When a catfight is about to break out, there is electricity in the air!"  Oh, they got that right; there were little lightning bolts shooting around and the popping noise of sparks as I watched the dark haired girl move toward the blonde.  But she kept stopping ... it was clear she was a reluctant fighter.  The blonde on the other hand, kept walking slowly to the brunette. 

Finally they were face to face and the brunette was just babbling away, it was clear she was trying to talk her way out of it, but the blonde was primed and ready to go and started pointing her finger right in the brunettes face, telling her that she had a big mouth. So one of the guys pushes the brunette into the blonde and the brunette spins around, conceivably to tell the guy to knock it off but before she does, the blonde shoves her back and now the young guys are yelling "Hit her!!" "C'mon, fight!!"

So the brunette shoves her open palm into the blonde's face.  It wasn't a slap and it wasn't a punch.  It was kind of like Jimmy Cagney shoving a grapefruit in Mae Clark's face, minus the grapefruit. 

I'm not really sure what the point behind it was, but the blonde immediately made a fist and *SMACK* landed a punch right in the brunettes face causing her to stumble back, dazed.  That's when I noticed that she was, among other things, very pretty.  Collar length dark brown hair, big brown eyes, a sharp little nose, and a beautiful face that had the look of being completely stunned and totally lost and confused.  My guess is she had never been in a fight in her life and didn't have the slightest clue what she was supposed to do but with all her friends egging her on she had to do something so she lunged forward with her hands up and out. I think she was going for the blonde's hair but of course the blonde would have none of that hair pulling nonsense, at least not yet, and *SMACK* another punch and then

*SMACK*

*SMACK*   *SMACK*   *SMACK*



https://www.mediafire.com/?lnnn4l77xq2dfow

 Falling back, the brunette, who I suddenly realized had a name -- "Ginny" -- had her hands up in front of her face trying to ward off the relentless blows coming from this tough little blonde.  Now if you've seen these fights before you know what comes next.  With the brunette in a completely defensive posture, the blonde reaches over and grabs two handfuls of her hair and then pulls her head down and now the dark haired girl is completely helpless as she's bent over at the waist and essentially reduced to staring at the pavement as she's at the complete mercy of the blonde who, of course has no mercy.  So now the blonde lets go of the brunette's hair with her right hand while she keeps holding it down with her left hand and then uses her right hand or should I say fist  to start delivering right uppercuts to the brunette's face.  *SMACK*   *SMACK*  *SMACK*

Poor Ginny, now she's dropped down on one knee and her dark nylons are starting to rip on the pavement. 







https://www.mediafire.com/?lnnn4l77xq2dfow

  Her friends are yelling "Get up Ginny, get up!!" but the fight is long over; Ginny never had a chance.  The good news is the blonde is too tired of hitting her so the punches have stopped and now she's saying something to Ginny instead, what I'm not really sure.

Finally Ginny blurts out, "OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" and with that, the blonde lets go.  Ginny stands up and brushes her hair back, fortunate that even a tough little blonde doesn't have the physical strength at the age of 13 or 14 to do much damage.  Oh, I'm sure it hurt, but I think her pride was hurt more than anything.  No blood and I suspect the worse thing Ginny might have suffered was a fat lip.  Her friends start leading her away and as they do, she explodes into tears.  Poor Ginny.

The blonde, for her part, is telling some guy "I told you, didn't I?  I told you!" and then turns to another guy and says "If you're her friend you better tell her to keep her mouth shut!"

Me?  I slinked away, back to my car.  Truthfully, I didn't like what I had just seen.  I should have been turned on, right?  Two young girls, about the same size, both in short skirts and nylons.  One girl with dark brown hair and brown eyes, the other a blue eyed blonde.  Toe to toe in a fight.  I should have had a monstrous hard on but I didn't.  Maybe it was because the brunette was beat up.  As I drove away, Ginny was at the bus stop with her friends, still crying.  I don't know, maybe she deserved it. Maybe she was the bad girl and the blonde was the good girl but the blonde was awfully aggressive for a good girl. And I suspect she knew that she could fight and maybe knew that Ginny couldn't.  I don't know. 

After I passed Ginny at the bus stop crying her eyes out, I came upon a red light and looking into my own image in the rear view mirror, I said to myself, "I never want to see two girls fight again."

Hahahaha!!

That lasted about a week.

Hahahahah!!



https://www.mediafire.com/?lnnn4l77xq2dfow

 So I'm wrapping up this fight story in the lounge, minus all the touchy-feely bullshit I just wrote in the above paragraph, and here come the wives ready to turn in for the night and of course, we never get to see the two cocktail servers pull each other’s hair out. 

So what's the point in all this?  Well, the point is that the catfights are out there, you just have to pay attention and have that radar turned on at all times.

As for Ginny, ~40 years later, I still think about her from time to time.  Pretty girl.  Tough watching her get her ass kicked.

I cheer myself up by watching these nice blonde vs. brunette beach wrestling videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzbuzW7_73Q&list=FLeKYDZ9U5YYXvjCzvHfC6cA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NGL1_Lbsz0&list=FLeKYDZ9U5YYXvjCzvHfC6cA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7HLaMCqkDY

Well done, Ginny.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

As you can see, I sprinkled a few videos throughout the blog entry and, in response to Diasi’s comment I decided to keep a log of winners and losers (in these five videos, the blondes were the winners!).  And since I was building the log based on real catfights, I thought I’d do the same for TV & movie catfights which are more interesting, in a way, because they often use a “good girl – bad girl’ theme.  So we’ll keep track of that, too.

So here’s my analysis of the TV & movie fights, thus far:

Planet Earth.  Good girl brunette, Janet Margolin, defeats the bad blonde played by Diana Muldaur.

Dynasty. The good blonde Linda Evans beats up the wickedly evil brunette, Joan Collins.

Woman They Almost Lynched.  Bad blonde Audrey Totter (RIP) beaten up by the good brunette Joan Leslie.

McCloud.  Stefanie Powers was the aggressor, so I guess that makes her a bad brunette.  She got her comeuppance and a good head dunking from Linda Evans.

Sail a Crooked Ship.  Brunette Carolyn Jones came across as a bit of a bitch compared to blonde haired goody-two-shoes Delores Hart who did go on to become a Catholic nun, for heaven’s sake, so we’ll call the blonde the good girl and the brunette the bad girl but the fight was broken up before we had a winner.

Hotel Paradise.  The brunette was definitely the bad bitch in that movie, although the blonde prisoner wasn’t exactly the kind of girl you’d bring home to mother.  But the face-slapping scene didn’t have a winner.

Honey West.  Brunette Diane Foster was a first class cunt who killed her criminal partner in a very cruel and devious manner, fully deserving the ass whipping handed to her by our wonderful and wonderfully blonde Ann Francis.

-----------

Finally, we’ll keep track of the competitive stuff, starting with the Vintage Backyard Wrestling video form the December 29^th blog entry which was clearly won by the blonde.